I have not blogged for 4 days. This is because my husband has been whinging about me blogging instead of doing my accounts. At the moment he is safely within the boundaries of Newark Rugby club, so I thought I’d make the most of my spare time.
Now I know that my accounts are important but I collected and recorded all my receipts ages ago, it’s only a matter of adding it all up…it’ll only take five minutes…surely. The problem is, I can think of plenty more exciting ways to spend five minutes.
Five minute social networking breaks. When you are surrounded by squealing children and have spent four hours in sub-zero temperatures dealing with foals with ice-induced cabin fever, then a few five minute breaks in the cosy virtual reality of cyber space are important for maintaining my sanity. You can’t do accounts when you are stark raving mad, can you?
Five minute coffee breaks. Everyone in the world has a coffee each time they a)come in from outside b)get off the sofa c)walk past the kettle on the way back from the toilet, this is a fact and is not interchangeable with doing accounts.
Several consecutive five minute exercise bike breaks (usually totalling 45 minutes). Justification – it is far too icy outside, I may fall off my road bike and then be squashed by a truck – If that happened then I’d never be able to do the accounts, would I?
Five minute Hound-stroking breaks. My hound could get depressed if I suddenly stopped doing this, she may think she’d done something wrong, hence importance of maintaining consistency.
Five minute attempts at beating my record on Word Mole. Word Mole, if played enough, must help to increase my vocabulary, which will subsequently increase the quality of adverts which I put out to sell my foals. Everyone knows that selling is the most important part of any business and if you don’t sell things the accounts look far worse at the end of the year.
Five minute fake tanning break. I like my body more when it is brown (except for that time when I let Violet do a spray tan for me, I wasn’t too keen on the tiger look). Anyway, tanning makes me happier and if I am happier I am far more likely to do my accounts, so tanning is working towards the accounts goal.
Five minute craft session with children breaks. Children need to be allowed to express themselves through creative means – otherwise they have too much energy come bedtime and won’t go to sleep, leaving no “grown-up time” for you to do things such as accounts. Arty projects in the past have included four foot long paper-mache dragon toy boxes, Fimo clay animals, giant black witches cats, stone/hazelnut painting, large tree pictures made with fallen leaves and “Hound-Child pictures of the day” (which can often been seen on Facebook).
Five minute power naps. It is common knowledge that the human brain does not function to the best of its ability if its owner has not had enough sleep. For this reason accounts should always come AFTER power naps on a to-do list.
Five minute Christmas shopping on eBay break. Time and money-saving – it’d take a full day of my time to go shopping in town, I’d have to fill the car up with petrol and would probably buy loads of unessential items that I wouldn’t come across online. Also December the 25th is BEFORE the accounts deadline on my calendar.